Saturday, April 25, 2015

Random thoughts...while I try to decide whether to go to the lesbian dance

So, there's this dance tonight. The Glitter Dance, at the Blue Rooster. In a weak moment, I RSVPd "yes" on the Over-50-Single-Lesbian meetup group. There will be sober people there, and I guess I figured I should visit the gay bar here at least once.

What was I thinking? My mind is running.

I don't think I want to go. I don't think anyone will want to dance with me. What if someone asks me to dance? Can I say no? What if nobody even asks? What if they ask, but it's a pity dance? What if nobody even talks to me at all? What if I get up and dance and make an ass of myself? What if I trip? Do I have to polish my shoes? I don't feel like polishing my shoes. Why didn't I bring some fun clothes when I moved here? Maybe I should go, because I just spent ten bucks on evening lipstick today -- I was feeling daring. But what if get lipstick on my teeth? I'm a terrible dancer. Dancing is sexual. What if I get turned on?

Jesus Christ.

The dance starts in 10 minutes. I guess I'll shower. But I'm not saying I'll go.

Sunday, April 05, 2015

I got nothin'.

When you have a blog, and you know you should be writing, you've got to find something to write about. Do you blog about how you're feeling lonely right now, or how you wonder if you'll ever get laid again? Maybe you talk about politics, or religion, or how you wish you'd packed your autoharp and uke in the car when you moved. Or how you want Emma Thompson for Christmas. Or you write about your gratitude for how your financial hemorrhaging is finally starting to slow down.  Or, what the fuck, you post a video of baby bats.

Or maybe you write about the fact that you've been holed up in your bedroom binging on Burn Notice episodes, and as a result you find you're narrating your life in the second person. Just. Like. This.

The fact is, just because you have to write doesn't mean you have anything to say. This is just one of those days.