Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Little Red Hen, Revisited

So, one day the Little Red Hen was watching TV when she saw an ad that says if you buy 64 drinks at Wendy’s, you’ll get a round-trip ticket anywhere AirTran flies.  The catch:  you have to accumulate the cups by December 31.

The Little Red Hen was ready for a vacation, so she began drinking large Frosties as fast as her little gizzards would let her.  Along came Cat and asked why the bird was drinking so many Frosties.  

“Because I want to fly to New York to see Chicken Licken,” replied the Little Red Hen.  “Want to come with me?  You can, you know!  We just need 128 cups between us.”

“Sure!” said Cat, and she began drinking Frosties, too.

Then Mouse came along and asked, “Why are you drinking all those Frosties?”  

The Little Red Hen responded, “Cat and I are going to fly to New York to see Chicken Licken, and we need to collect 128 cups.  Want to come along?”

Mouse said, “You bet!” and she gulped down a large Frosty right then and there.  After all, they now needed 192 cups to go see Chicken Licken in New York.

After the threesome had downed about 25 drinks between them, it dawned on Cat and Mouse that 192 Frosties is an awful lot, and they began to doubt the wisdom of the mission.  Soon they voiced their doubts.

“I don’t think you can even get 64 cups,” Cat said.  

“I can too,” said the Little Red Hen (who was a little worried herself), and bought another Frosty for each of them.  

Mouse and Cat were beginning to grow tired of drinking nothing but Frosties, and began to complain.  “Can’t we eat somewhere else for a change?” squeaked Mouse.  “I’m sick of Frosties!”

“Shut up and drink!” snarled the Little Red Hen, and shoved two more Frosties in front of each of them.  

After a few weeks, they had 40 cups between them, and even the Little Red Hen was growing sick of the sticky chocolate mess.   But she was stubborn, and refused to let up on Cat and Mouse.  

One day, when each of the friends had just gulped down a Frosty, the Little Red Hen presented Cat and Mouse with three more Frosties each.  

“Uggh, no!” said Mouse, whose tummy was bizarrely swollen.  “If I have another sip of Frosty I’m gonna puke!”  

As if to punctuate the point, Cat belched loudly.

The Little Red Hen was fed up.  “Fine!” she said.  “Go ahead and bail out on me.  I don’t care!  I’ll just go see Chicken Licken by myself!”

“Hey, we’ve been drinking them,” Mouse protested, wiping froth from his whiskers.

“Yes, but we only have 58 cups, and tomorrow is December 31.  If only one of us goes to New York, by God, it’s going to be me!”  

So Cat and Mouse, having no more incentive to drink Frosties, waddled away, leaving the Little Red Hen to drink the remaining 8 Frosties by herself.  The next day, she proudly cashed in her 64 cups for one free round-trip ticket to see Chicken Licken in the Big Apple.

Unfortunately, the Little Red Hen had become so fat from eating Frosties that she took up two seats on the airplane and had to buy another ticket.  Consequently, she didn’t save a dime.  

MORAL:  If you’re stupid enough to drink 64 Frosties in two weeks, you deserve whatever you get.

Lynne Rhys-Jones is a freelance writer in Georgia who has a collection of 69 Wendy’s cups.  Her friends are quietly avoiding her until after the New Year.  

9 comments:

  1. Oh my god this is funny! Wow, thanks for the laugh! Great story!

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  2. Does someone at Wendy's make you drink the beverage in front of them ... or is it possible to offer 64 drinks to kids just outside the door of a public school at recess... then collect the cups?

    Probably get arrested... forget it!

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  3. mmmmmm, I love frosties I wish I had one right now

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  4. this was such a cute story!

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  5. At least you will have a "free" ticket.

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  6. Is your blog library opening in 2006 also? Hope it's a good one for you and yours.

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  7. That is so funny. I'm reading backward through your posts.

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  8. Anonymous8:18 PM

    Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!
    » »

    ReplyDelete