Monday, January 09, 2006

Goodbye, Gnome

We used to have a gnome in front of our house. Zeze got him from a friend. He looked ceramic but he was actually some kind of new-wave plastic. Indeed, he was a new-wave sort of gnome because he had his foot perched on a soccer ball. Zeze and I never quite figured this out.

We liked our gnome. He had character. On the way home, the tip of his cap broke off, so he had a hole in his head. We thought about getting him a little umbrella so he wouldn’t get rained in, but we just put him under the carport instead.

A few days after we moved into the lake house somebody broke some light bulbs and various odds and ends around our property, and broke the gnome’s soccer ball off. Which, I have to say, was an improvement. We just stood him up and let him go back to his gnomish ways.

Eventually, we came to love our gnome. Every night when we came home from work, there he was waiting for us. And Zeze and I would both cheerfully greet him with, “Hello, Gnome!” Well… I guess you had to be there. There are some things you just can’t explain.

So you can imagine our horror the other night when we got home and the gnome was gone! Nothing else was missing; just our broken, pseudoceramic, hole-in-the-head gnome.

Who on earth steals a broken gnome? Alas, there are some mysteries only G-d can explain.

Goodbye, Gnome.


  1. Sorry about your gnome. I hope no one decides to steal our cement yard penguin (Snooks McDermott) or our ceramic porch rat (which has no name, but I made it in sculpture class). We would miss them very much.

  2. So sad that someone felt the need to kidnap your gnome....