Yep! I'm gonna be a poll worker on November 8! I'll be that cute old lady in a pink cardigan sweater who checks you in.
This is my chance to get involved in an easy but meaningful way. Service to my country. With donuts on the side!
I mean, how hard could it be? The voter comes in and gives you their name and ID. You check them off the list and give them a ballot and a reassuring smile. It's all computerized now, and I'm good at customer service. In essence, I'm a patriotic Walmart greeter. Easy peasy!
Not so peasy. The training manual is 150 pages long.
But hey, I'm sure the training will cover everything. Besides, I'm a Harvard lawyer, and a librarian, and every day I use sophisticated video editing software, and I'm really comfortable with computers. So I'll be fine, right? Right?
Let's just say the training assistant hung out behind me for a good chunk of the three hours because I was the one who needed constant remedial help.
Like, he had to show me the correct way to push the "off" button on the computer because when I did it, nothing happened. Turns out you just push the button.
Maybe I can just hand out the stickers.
I could still back out of this, but I'm not going to, because I really do need to do my part in this very scary time.
So at 5:00 a.m. on November 8, I'll bring my sleepy, sleepy self – and plenty of coffee and snacks – to my precinct location. And that night at 8:30 or so I'll drag myself home, eat a couple of Hostess Ding Dongs, fall into bed, and hope that when I wake up I still live in a democracy.
Yeah. That's the plan.
