Monday, January 20, 2020

Old pics

I'm cleaning up an old SD card and found these pictures I've taken along the way. I'm otherwise not inspired today, so I'm posting them.








Friday, January 17, 2020

The writer speaks.

I used to teach writing. I’ve also written lots of, you know, stuff.  So I am hereby declaring myself a writing expert, which qualifies me to tell you what’s what.

In law school, they tell you there is one right way to write a brief. College placement offices tell you there is only one right way to write a resume. Professors ding you if you indent – or don’t indent – the first paragraph of an essay.

What bullshit! For one thing, everybody’s “one right way” is different. So what’s a girl to do?

Yeah, of course you need to comply with whatever moronic requirements your venue has placed on you. Courts and college placement offices can be annoyingly anal, with significant consequences for insurgents.

But otherwise, there’s really only one rule: whatever you’re writing, write it in the way that best achieves your goal. If your issue statement is more effective in two sentences than in one, use two sentences. If your resume is better at three pages, make it three pages, for god’s sake.

And here’s the corollary: Whatever you’re reading, read it for the message, not the grammar. The world won’t end if the writer uses “its” instead of “it’s,” or if they put two spaces after the period instead of one, or if they say “should of” instead of “should have.” If this sort of thing bugs you so much that you can’t hear the underlying message, you need a life, or therapy, or something.

Seriously, you do. 

Unless, of course, it happened in my writing class, in which case there were significant consequences.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Damn, I missed it. But yay! for freedom of religion.

Yesterday was Religious Freedom Day. I thought it was today, and I'm bummed out that I missed it. I was going to post something snarky, yet respectful. Cynical, yet wholesome.

I got nothin'.

Wait... I might have something. ...

I was going to write about the Flying Spaghetti Monster because it's pretty awesome, but they like to think there's a stripper factory in heaven, and I find that a little problematic. That did not, however, stop me from ordering a sticker for my car, especially since the only Pastafarian dogma is that there's no dogma.

Snarky -- check.
Cynical -- check.

Now, contrary to what you might think, I do pray sometimes. I have a lot in common with religious people on the progressive left. I believe that there could be a god. I believe that the  universe is sacred, and I believe if there is a conscious god, it doesn't give a shit whether you believe in it or not, as long as you do some good in the world. And by the way, I am an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church. Legal and everything. That's actually true. I can marry your sorry ass.

Respectful -- check, sort of.
Wholesome -- well, I think so.

So... whether or not you've been touched by his noodly appendage, I wish you all a belated Religious Freedom Day.

Monday, January 13, 2020

Why are autistics pissed off?

Karen McCarron was desperate, or so she said, when she put her three-year-old autistic daughter in the car for a ride. After a while she parked, put a plastic bag over her daughter's head, and suffocated her. That was the day before Mother's Day, 2006.

Four days earlier, Autism Speaks had released a short film, Autism Every Day. The documentary, full of unmanageable children and hopeless mothers, portrayed devastating images of families living with autism. Alison Tepper Singer, one of the mothers interviewed (and the executive vice president of Autism Speaks at the time) said the following:
“I remember that was a very scary moment for me when I realized I had sat in the car for about 15 minutes and actually contemplated putting Jodie in the car and driving off the George Washington Bridge. ... It’s only because of Lauren, because I have another child that I probably didn’t do it.”
She was speaking, by the way, in front of her autistic daughter. (6:10 minute mark)

Ali Elmezayen, on the other hand, wasn't desperate; just greedy. So, after purchasing six million dollars worth of life insurance, he rolled down his car window, drove his two autistic sons and his domestic partner off a Los Angeles pier, and then swam to safety himself. The boys didn't survive. A third son, not autistic, was away at camp. That was in July, 2019.

According to the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), 600 people with disabilities have been murdered by their parents or caregivers in the past five years. The problem is pressing enough that ASAN has published an anti-filicide toolkit

Murder of the disabled is unspeakable and unfortunately, it is timeless. But in the case of autistics, special credit for encouraging filicide goes to the one organization that was supposed to advocate for them: Autism Speaks. 

Yes, that Autism Speaks, the one with the puzzle pieces and the happy-go-lucky fundraising walks and the "Light it Up Blue" campaign every April.

Autism Speaks has ingrained American society with the stereotypical image of the autistic child: unresponsive, screaming, unmanageable, and not even really there. 

AS was formed in 2005 by Suzanne and Bob Wright (Bob Wright was an executive at NBC) after their grandson was diagnosed with autism. After an infusion of $25 million by Bernie Marcus -- the founder of Home Depot -- AS quickly became the organization purportedly advocating for the autism community.

Dollars that had previously gone to local organizations for family services were quickly siphoned off by AS and diverted to research, lobbying, and "education."

Autism Speaks wasn't interested in providing services. Its mission was to find the cause of autism and eradicate it. Among its highest priorities was research exploring the link between vaccines and autism. 

From the beginning, AS used fear to vilify what it saw as the scourge and tragedy of autism. The image we have of autism today is a direct result of this very effective campaign. 

AS's message was clear and consistent: Your child is gone now. And the burden of caring for what remains of them will inevitably lead to divorce, poverty, and constant shame. 

Consider this excerpt from AS's very dark 2009 video, "I am Autism." The mood is grim: The foreboding sound of a haunting wind. A relentless parade of lost-looking autistic kids. And, from a menacing narrator: 
I am autism. I’m visible in your children, but if I can help it, I am invisible to you until it’s too late. I know where you live. And guess what? I live there too. I hover around all of you. I know no color barrier, no religion, no morality, no currency. I speak your language fluently. And with every voice I take away, I acquire yet another language.
I work very quickly. I work faster than pediatric AIDS, cancer, and diabetes combined.  
And if you’re happily married, I will make sure that your marriage fails.Your money will fall into my hands, and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don’t sleep, so I make sure you don’t either. I will make it virtually impossible for your family to easily attend a temple, birthday party, or public park without a struggle, without embarrassment, without pain. ....
I am autism.... I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness. I will fight to take away your hope. I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams. I will make sure that every day you wake up you will cry, wondering who will take care of my child after I die?  
In 2013, AS issued a "call to action" written by Suzanne Wright:
If three million children in America one day went missing -- what would we as a country do? .... These families are not living. They are existing. Breathing -- yes. Sleeping -- maybe. Working -- most definitely -- 24/7.  This is autism. Life is lived moment-to-moment. In anticipation of the child's next move. In despair. In fear of the future. This is autism.
Following Wright's statement (later removed from the website), the sole autistic in AS's leadership resigned in disgust. 

Autism Speaks has significantly cleaned up its act, and has actually done some good, but only under heavy pressure from the autistic community. The organization has yet to take responsibility for its dark history. And while AS finally conceded that there is no link between autism and vaccines, its priority is still research, lobbying, and education. A whopping 2% of its budget goes toward direct services for families. Far more goes for bloated executive salaries. 

AS buoyantly notes that it took the word "cure" out of its mission statement in 2016, and indeed autistics had been pressing for this because they don't see autism as a defect to be cured. However, AS doesn't acknowledge this perspective. They only say that they've stopped looking for a cure because they don't think they'll find one.

Meanwhile, AS has never allowed more than token representation by autistics on its board. There have never been more than 2 autistics on a board of 28, and currently there's just one. Imagine if the Ms. Foundation had only one woman on its board!

It's also troubling that some of the original board members still serve, and Suzanne Wright continues to be glorified as a hero on the website. So it's no wonder that autistic self advocates continue to condemn the organization. 

All in all, Autism Speaks has a long way to go before I light it up blue in April. 

Thursday, January 09, 2020

Prepare to be counted and analyzed. The Donald has found a workaround.

Remember that pesky Census 2020 question about citizenship that Trump wanted to put on the census? And the courts stopped him?

Well, he found a workaround via executive order. And so, on December 20, the Department of Homeland Security quietly released a privacy assessment about an agreement to exchange information with the Census people.

Now, I figured there was something up Trump's sleeve, but I didn't expect it to be this pernicious. This isn't about gathering numbers anymore. It's about Donald Trump's executive agencies specifically matching names, addresses, social security numbers, visa applications, race, etc. etc. to decide whether you -- yes, you personally -- are a citizen of the US. 

Here's some of the language DHS buried in the middle of the report:
     The Census Bureau plans to use several administrative data sources of citizenship and immigration status in a statistical model that will produce a probability of being a U.S. citizen, a lawfully present non-citizen, or an unauthorized immigrant on April 1, 2020, for each person in the 2020 Census. The citizenship and immigration status probabilities will be used together with age, race, ethnicity, and location information from the 2020 Census . . . . 
     ... Person records in each administrative and survey data source, including the 2020 Census, will be validated and assigned a unique person identifier, called a PIK. The PIKs will be used to link each person’s citizenship information to his/her 2020 Census record. The validation process ... involves comparing records received by the Census Bureau to reference files using fields such as SSN or ITIN, name, date of birth, gender, and residential address.  
     ... The model will produce a citizenship and immigration status probabilities for each person, which will then be combined with age, race, ethnicity, and location information from the 2020 Census to produce the CVAP statistics.
In other words, the United States government is going to combine all the information it has about you (which is considerable), and then take a guess as to whether you're here illegally.

What could possibly go wrong?

DHS says that the purpose of this project is "to determine the number of citizens, lawfully present non-citizens, and unauthorized immigrants in the country."

Just the number? Just statistics?

Then why the need to create an identification profile for every single person at every single address?  Just so they can count us?

Or is it so they can go door to door and round up the people they think don't belong here?

It just keeps getting better and better.

Sunday, January 05, 2020

AA as patriarchy?

Recently the New York Times ran an opinion piece by Holly Whitaker, a recovering alcoholic, titled "The Patriarchy of AA." Whitaker has been sober since 2013, but she didn't get sober through AA. As a woman in a male-dominated society, she already lacked power and had always been expected to accept things unquestioningly. A 12-step program, then, was the last thing she needed, and so she found sobriety another way.

Her thesis is that the twelve steps, formed within a patriarchical culture, are best designed to break down white male privilege, but can be destructive for women.

Whitaker is careful to point out that AA does work for many people, including many women. But she challenges the assumption that there is only one way to get sober.

And on that point she is absolutely right.

Earlier in my sobriety I felt really threatened by criticism of 12-step programs. For me, it was Stanton Peele's insistence that alcoholism is not a disease and that moderate drinking is an appropriate goal for alcoholics.

Peele's assertions scared me. What if he was right? What if this miraculous new life was an illusion, a mirage, and it would come crashing down because it never really worked to begin with?

Old timers assured me that any alcoholic who tried moderate drinking would fail.

But... what?

Many times I've heard people smugly predict that someone is going to drink again because they're not working the program the "right" way. I've done it myself. Even the founders were guilty of it, bemoaning the fact that an atheist was staying sober month after month.  "When, oh when is that guy going to get drunk?"

It's like we want them to fail. But do we, really? Would we rather the person die of alcoholism than demonstrate that there are other roads to recovery? I certainly hope not.

I no longer freak out if I read something heavily critical of 12-step recovery. I just remind myself that it's right for me. For all I know, it may be the only thing that works for me, so I'm disinclined to experiment. But AA as an organization has never claimed to have a monopoly on sobriety.

Criticism is nothing to be afraid of. It doesn't diminish my recovery in any way, as long as I keep doing what works for me. Recovery is not a zero sum game.

And if someone else finds a different road to recovery?

It means they get a second shot at life, too. And that's worth celebrating.

Saturday, January 04, 2020

Kryptonite redux

Well, now. That was self-indulgent, wasn't it? For those who saw my last post (it made it all the way to 7 before I took it down), not to worry.  I'll be talking to the shrink about changing up my meds. And thank you for reining me in.

For those who didn't see it, here are the takeaways: First, our local roundup did a recovery show a few years ago that turned out being pretty magical, and I'm really proud of it because I wrote the original script. And second, Anita Mann is beautiful.

So there ya go. I love you all.

Wednesday, January 01, 2020

Is that a She-wee in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

And I thought it would bring down the patriarchy.

Remember oh, so long ago, when I did that post about female urinary devices, or FUDs? Of course you don't, so here it is.

I thought I would do an update - you know, see how the feminist uprising is coming along. Once women can pee standing up there's just no stopping us, right?

First, the bad news. The patriarchy is alive and well. You may have noticed that yourself along the way.

In other sad news: the Shenis appears to have gone to that great big ladies' lounge in the sky. A few artifacts have survived, though, including a Facebook page and an entry in the Urban Dictionary. Oh, and this rather disturbing YouTube commercial that demonstrates the reason for its demise better than I ever could.

Now for the good news: the uprising continues.  Time was, the only people who knew about female urinary devices were obscure bloggers desperate for a topic and, well, other pioneers like myself.

No more! The GoGirl, in particular, has flourished. She is readily available on Amazon. And at Walmart. And at Bed Bath and Beyond, for christ sake.

About the only person not hawking these things is the ShamWow guy.

Even Wish has a knockoff for two bucks plus shipping. (I'm tempted to do a YouTube review to see how it stacks up against the Shewee (10 colors!), the GoGirl (comes in khaki!), the P-Mate (disposable!), and the Tinkle Belle (ridiculously expensive!))

Meanwhile, the Equal Rights Amendment is coming back, and women are running for president. Coincidence? I think not.

The FUD is working. Hear us roar.