Wednesday, September 30, 2009

25 things about me... as if I'm not already self-absorbed enough...

1. I used to slice head cheese for a guy tied to the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

2. I've been told that I do a reasonably good Marlene Dietrich impression.

3. During the Cold War, my fifth-grade teacher picked my essay to read for the school assembly on patriotism. But the principal wouldn't let me go on. My subject: Communism is just another form of government, so everybody should relax already.

4. I used to be a Camp Fire Girl. And I spent one glorious week at Camp Wamatochik.

5. I was the Virgin Mary in the kindergarten Christmas play.

6. I had ... Uh, nope. Not telling you that one.

7. Hmmm... Not that one either.

8. I like to read the dictionary.

9. According to my ex-husband, I'm "a bottomless pit of need." And I often worry that he's right.

11. It took me 11 years to get pregnant and it was so worth the wait!

12. Eventually, after an aggressive desensitization regimen imposed by my young daughter, I grew to like Barney the purple dinosaur.

13. I like my coffee strong enough for the spoon to stand up by itself.

14. I don't like sweet tea, okra, greens, or any veggies that taste like bacon grease. But I do like black-eyed peas.

15. I'm occasionally mistaken for Latina or Native American, but I'm really half Greek, a quarter Welsh, and a quarter who-knows-what.

16. I'm pretty good in a crisis as long as it's somebody else's.

17. Before I go see a movie I want to know if it's a happy ending or not. And if a main character is gonna die I want to know who.

18. I like snakes. I'm not afraid of them at all unless they're poisonous or big enough to kill me. In fact, I really like holding them.

19. I can't kill anything that crunches when you squish it. Which is fine, because I don't like to kill stuff anyway.

21. As far as I know, I've never had any of the usual childhood illnesses, and I've never broken any bones. But I did staple myself once.

22. I brake for turtles.

23. I had a knife held to my throat when I was about 10, after I pissed off the wrong person.

24. I love long, exhausting, dirty, sticky-floored, multi-day, around-the-clock trips via Greyhound, where the only time you get off the bus is for meal stops and when they need to clean the bus at three in the morning. It's my version of camping. My longest stretch: six days up the west coast and across southern Canada. Although...

25. A nun had to rescue me from a creepy guy who was trying to follow me on said Greyhound bus.

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