(in an attempt to get my house vacuumed, dear readers, I'm recycling an old post. So there.)
I have been deflowered. There, I’ve said it. And what creation has so captured my fancy? No, it’s not a beautiful woman. And it’s not the finest wine in
and Beyond that has turned my fair head. I’ve heard mention of it, but I had no idea. The variety! The style! The prices! Bath
I spent some time there today while waiting for a ride, and I learned so much about myself. I learned that there are all kinds of things I simply must have in order to survive!
Think I’m being melodramatic? Absolutely not. Here, let me tell you what I found. Maybe you need this stuff, too!
First, there’s the crème brulee kit for $19.99. I’ve never eaten crème brulee, and honestly, I don’t really even know what it is. But the kit comes with a torch!
The digital grilling fork is another bargain at $14.99. Now, I don’t cook, but I've heard grills are used for baking steaks, and that's reason enough to own one. I must be digitally prepared!
Oh – there’s the AM/FM radio pen. Only $4.99! It even has a string so you can wear it around your neck! It’s purple!
And I mustn’t forget the Fill’Er Up Liquor Pump. You fill this old-fashioned gas-pump thingy with your favorite booze, and then you dispense it out the little nozzle. At $49.99, it brings a whole new meaning to the word “gassed.” Just too cute!
And where else can you get 100 cookie cutters for $9.99? Okay, so I haven’t made cookies since 1997, but I could get a domestic hot flash at any time!
Oh, and the Party Pump! What is a Party Pump? I don’t know! But I’m pretty sure that at $29.99 (on clearance!), I really need one!
Do you see why I’m so excited? And I didn’t even get to the bathroom stuff! I’m telling you, there are just all kinds of things out there that I have to have.
You’ve got to hand it to our capitalist economy. Talk about efficiency! I mean, knowing what you need before you even know you need it yourself!
But I’m afraid I’ve tarried too long here. You’ll have to excuse me so I can go meditate over my L.L. Bean catalog. Fleece! Flannel!